Not bad a few days.

Had quite a good weekend!

Had my first "semi-professional" balloon gig on sat night for an RC block party at Lavender, near Beach Road. Had approx 45mins to entertain and do balloons for the kids. Most wanted balloon animal? THE TIGER. well, one kid wanted a cat actually, i suggested making it a tiger by adding stripes. After that, everyone wanted a tiger. Other decent requests were swords, rabbit, flower. An AUNTIE asked me to make a pig for her.(AUNTIE! hmm. tot i was supposed to entertain kids.) When the hour was up, had to stop and decline some requests. Sad. But well it was a very fun and fulfilling experience and the money's good. Trying to get hold of the few pics taken, so stay tuned.

Sunday was great as i attended a magic competition and lecture. Sadly, only 3 of the finalists were able to make it for the competition, and the rest of the time were taken up by performances by the guest judges. Man, its one thing to see amateurs perform and another to see professionals perform. Was very impressed with a fire eating act by one of the guest performers. An old guy, a veteren at his art. forgot his name. damn.

The magic lecture by Magic Fukai, a professional magician from Japan was very entertaining and indepth. Although not many new effects were taught or explained, the gems were into how to present the routine in a different and entertaining way. Here's Fukai and I.

Last night was great as a small group had a small gathering in commemoration of Paul's birthday. Went to SAFRA to play abit of pool. Did my classic ninja rings act which owned pretty much everyone there, WHAHAHA. After that did some fun balloon jamming. Oh I actually made a hat for Paul to wear thru the night, will upload the pic once i get it from him.

One thing that struck me last night was, "What is being a magician mean to you? What is it worth?" I basically saw and experienced some rather unpleasant stuff happen that make me question. What is could say is, my friend, if you ever do read this post. DO NOT tarnish the image of being a magician. Take pride in being one. If u dont, at least take pride in being a human, respect what ur parents and primary school have been teaching you, and be a man. Grow up pls!

Ken

Expressions

Am i happy the way i am?

Honestly i am not.

I've been rather caustic at work this past couple of weeks. All the angst swells from a source which i do not even know about. a minor mistake by other could cause me to kick up a big fuss. Am i expecting too much of others? hmm. Maybe im just expecting too much of myself.

Its sad to see your world just blatantly falling apart no matter how hard you try to piece it nicely on the facade. Its hard to just let things go and say "lets forgive and forget". Its painful when you feel that there seems to be no one out there who would really support you and bring you through.

"He's an angry person", some may say. "He's just being an asshole; he thinks he is the best; who does he think he is". Words may not have been said but it can certainly be felt. Maybe no one even had that even thought abt it, and its jus the conscience speaking. i honestly do not know how i've come to this point, where even i myself feel my "headstrong-ness" in many situations yet i could not help it. Its come to a point where i force myself to be independent, and not be dependent on others for company. its come to a point where i feel that even if i died, people may not even really notice the loss of me(its ok, im not suicidal).

i haven talked to God for the past 6mths since duno when. He jus feels so far, so distant. "God is jus a prayer away" most people will say, but i jus cant bring myself to this state. I could say that i have lost faith in God, but a phrase remains ingrained in me, is that "God never left you, have you left him?" Most likely i have lost faith in myself. The faith that i could stand up and say that "i could do all things through Christ".

"I want you to feel guilty". This six words have haunted me for the past 4 mths. no matter how hard i tried to forget, n matter how i tried to bury myself in my work, no matter how hard i tried to PREtend that all was well, these words stalked me, hunted me, as the phrase goes "you can run but you can't hide". Amidst those times, everyone was on the other side of the river. i had to stand alone. i had to overcome on my own. i had to carry all the burden on myself, i WILL carry all of it on my own, i have to, cos i dont want to feel that regret or guilt. yes i have to do it alone, and walk this path on my own, i do not need other people, or do i?

Everyday seems like a get torn down again and again.

hmm. stop here i shall.

i did not do this to seek pity, i will not say i wont need ur pity, i just covet ur prayers.
to those whom i've offended with my words, and actions, i sincerely apologise and would like your forgiveness.

Muahahah...

Chanced upon this pic. Somehow this oddly reminds of a certain close acquaintance of mine.

Ok i'll be direct.

NICK! MY BROTHER! Want a hat like this?? Muahaha...
i'll do it in bright colors so it'll be contrasting yea? =P

Still pretty much huffing and puffing!

My my, it has certainly been awhile. All thanks to work, work, and more work. Have been really really busy with work(guess i realise tt now), and pretty much not left with much time for other things.

Alrite, down to latest updates.

I'VE PASSED MY FINAL THEORY TEST TODAY! woohoo!

Yes, i got my PDL, so gonna find an instructor and book a test date soon! Anybody dare take my vehicle with me in the future? Heh heh. *devilish grin*

Haven had much time to practice my magic and balloons recently too. Haven even got my arse to planning on my balloon class n april, haven planned on a fixed party routine which i could do in future parties, haven even planned on what mega balloon sculpture to master, haven this, haven that, OHHH!! WILL SOMEBODY PLS DELIVER ME!!!

Ahaha. That felt better. *Steam streaming out of ears*

Ah wells, till here for this moment. Another day of work tmr again!

Love me, love me not,
Ken